Ball in Hand

I scored a cheap ticket to two handball games three days ago, and the first thing I have to say is: y'all look the same.

Here's Game 1, Croatia vs. Poland:



And here's Game 2, Denmark vs. Iceland:



A little hard to see, but notice that all of their uniforms are red and white, because all of their national colors are red and white: Croatia has red-and-white checkers, Poland has red-and-white stripes, and Denmark and Iceland have red crosses with white borders.


(Croatian fans, Norwegian fanchild)

And, here's a run-down of the players' names:

Denmark: Knudsen, Boldsen, Hansen, Jensen, Boesen, Joergensen, Christiansen, Henriksen, Nielsen

Iceland: Petersson, Sigurdsson, Gustavsson, Gunnarsson, Hallgrimsson, Gudmundsson, Gudjonsson, Atlasson, Sigurdsson (again), Jakobsson, Giersson, Stefansson, Ingimundarsson, Asgeirsson



So the main obstacles for us clueless Chinese peoeple sitting among a sea of red and white were 1) figuring out which freakin' team is which, and which team the audience is cheering for, and 2) telling one sson from another sen.

The game itself was interesting. I showed up about 30 minutes prior and shadily walked up to every person standing around to ask for tickets. Some white guy tried to scalp me for 300RMB a pop, but I held out and lo and behold, a nice Chinese guy came with extra ones and sold me one for 50RMB. My new full-fledged membership in the Chinese society continues to pay unexpected dividends.

It's a funny mix of soccer, basketball and dodgeball, and at first it's ridiculous how intense the players are. Essentially it's soccer played with hands. Players have to dribble once for every three steps they take with the ball, and they must shoot from a specific distance or farther, designated by an arc that looks like a three-point line. The court is basketball-sized, which makes the pace similar to an NBA game. Passes and shots are dodgeball-like, taken with one-handed overhead throws. The ball is easily palmed.



It's easy to get into, even if you don't know the rules, because it's so simple. Players get physical around the arc, where the shooter has to find an opening, jump above the defenders and put his entire body into throwing. Passwork around the perimeter is fast, and there's little dribbling except when the ball is being moved across court or when the player is posting on or trying to get around the defenders. I was thoroughly entertained for a good two hours, which, for an infrequent sportswatcher, says a lot.

The one thing that stayed as ridiculous the fifth time as it was the first time was the penalty shot. The shooter stands about 8 feet from the goalie. Because it's so close, the goalie is forced into a kung-fu-like stance, with all of his limbs stretched out and moving, including one of his legs. The shooter feigns a few attempts, and generally makes the shot, which compounds humiliation on the goalie, as if the flying crane stance and the fact that he plays handball for a living wasn't enough.

Despite it being the Olympics, the atmosphere was essentially like an ordinary sporting event. Beer flowed freely (a months-old baby next to me sipped on Tsingtao - see below), hot dogs sold liberally (albeit the pigs-in-a-blanket type found only in Asian bakeries) and fans cheered loudly, especially the Danes behind me that had one of three things to say: "Ayyy!", "YAH!," or "Ayayayayay, YAH!"



All in all a worthwhile time for 50RMB, especially now that I have a ticket stub to keep. But if I were the handball PR, I would be working a little harder, first by changing the name of the sport from something that can be easily confused with an elementary school game played against a wall, and then probably also swapping out the big swirling soccer ball in the big-screen "GOAL!" graphics: